An Acne Tale

Welcome to Broken Skin Therapy, a sanctuary dedicated to those grappling with skin-related challenges. Let’s embark on a journey that begins with my personal narrative. In the following paragraphs, I aim to strike a balance between brevity and engagement, ensuring your interest remains unwavering.  

The Beginning

My initiation onto the realm of skin issues occurred in 7th grade when I awoke to an imposing blemish on my face. At the time, many of my peers also contended with breakouts, and I regarded it as part of the adolescent experience. Unbeknownst to me, this marked the beginning of years of major trauma and pain.

After experiencing my first break out, my journey took an unexpected turn. In a mere two weeks, what began as a single blemish evolved into a bigger issue of 10 blemishes. Initially, I didn’t feel self-conscious about my acne, attributing it to a typical phase of puberty, especially since many of my peers were grappling with the same challenge.

However, the turning point occurred doing my senior year of high school. While my friends started to enjoy clear skin, I found myself increasingly self-conscious about my skin. My acne had transitioned from  my forehead to my cheeks and then chin, which intensified my concern. My first attempt at resolving this issue was Proactiv, but regrettably, I saw a little improvement the first few weeks; in fact, my acne seemed to worsen after two months.

Life with Acne

As I embarked on my college journey at Norfolk State University in the fall of 2009, my acne persisted, and its severity escalated. By my sophomore year, I was confronted by a daunting reality- my face was virtually covered in acne, with over 50 blemishes (on average). This took a severe toll on my self-esteem, and I became deeply embarrassed by my appearance.

What I remember most vividly was a pivotal moment during a night out with friends. It was my first time ever drinking alcohol. I went to the downstairs dorm bathroom, somewhat inebriated, I gazed into the mirror and, for the first time in years, didn’t feel an immediate sense of sadness. I could smile, and it was a liberating experience. Over time, my alcohol use escalated and evolved into a problem, serving as a coping mechanism to conceal my profound acne-related insecurity. Paradoxically, my face would not break out as bad when I consumed more alcohol and ate less.

It wasn’t until 2011 that I sought out professional help from a dermatologist, Dr. Love (my first dermatologist). She prescribed an antibiotic and cream that miraculously cleared my face within a month. My confidence began to resurface, and I felt beautiful again. However, this newfound clarity was short-lived, as my acne made an unwelcome return, plunging me into a deep depression. I remember my senior year of college and I was walking to my dorm room and these guys saw me-one of them said “She’s bad but her face is fucked up.” That tore me to pieces. Although this incident happened over 10 years ago, I still get teary eyed when I think about how I felt that day.

Throughout my college years, I withdrew from social activities, spending most of my time confined to my dorm room or the library. It felt as though my college experience had been stolen from me because I was too self-conscious to show my face in public.

In 2013, I commissioned into the United States Army, and my acne seemed to improve compared to my college years. However, upon being stationed in South Korea at the age of 23, my acne returned with a vengeance, almost as severe as my worst college days.

Between the ages of 24 and 28, my battle with acne continued, on and off. I explored multiple avenues, seeking solutions from various Dermatologists, undergoing facials, attempting different treatments, and even tried Accutane (Isotretinoin). I also ventured into alternative approaches, including counseling, cleansing, and colonics, which I will delve into further in my upcoming blogs. Unfortunately, everything I attempted to achieve clear skin yielded limited, or short-lived results. However, amidst the setbacks, one intriguing pattern emerged-when I prepared my own meals, my skin exhibited a marked improvement.

The breakdown

Fast forward to the year 2022, at the age of 31, I found myself in Los Angeles, pursuing my dreams in acting and frequently appearing on camera. However, in May of that year, an unwelcome development disrupted my life-I begin to experience a severe outbreak of acne. My skin was in distress, and I was plagued by a cascade of questions. How could I, at 31 years old, still be grappling with such intense acne? What has changed in my lifestyle within the span of three months to trigger this outbreak? Why did conventional dermatologist treatments fail to provide answers of relief? What was I doing wrong? The weight of these questions wore down on me and I questioned why this was happening to me.

Throughout this ordeal, I had some intense thoughts, as I tethered on the brink of despair. Consider, for a moment being 31, attractive, successful, and hard-working but you wake up with 20+ painful boils on your face nearly every day. Imagine people offering unsolicited advice on a matter that occupies your thoughts every waking second. Picture having a vibrant, extroverted personality, yet being confined to your house because of the unrelenting stare. Envision children making hurtful comments about the condition of your skin. Picture relying on Alcohol, as a desperate means to numb the pain. Visualize removing mirrors from your own home to avoid your reflection. Consider a dating life, where your partners are willing to be seen with you only behind closed doors. Imagine having a dream of pursuing a career in Acting, only to find that the camera captures not only your talents, but your struggle with acne.

The Discovery of Why

I persevered in the face of my acne struggles. It was in July 2022, after shedding tears for hours, that I posed a critical question to myself. “What message is the universe trying to convey through my acne?” Determined to unravel the mystery, I embarked on an elimination diet. I started with a minimalist menu of lettuce, tomatoes, and onions-nothing more. Seeking to cleanse my system, I ventured to a reputable, vitamin shop to incorporate a colon cleanse into my regimen.

As I stood amidst an array of cleansing vitamins, an unusual sensation gripped my heart, a foreboding feeling that foreshadowed a profound change in my life. The momentous shift occurred when I ingested those vitamins, and approximately two hours later, I was plagued by two excruciating boils on my cheek. Overwhelmed with frustration and confusion, I found myself crying in my car en route to my grandmother’s house, contemplating how I could break out while adhering to a strict diet. Within the span of five minutes, a realization dawned upon me- it was something within those vitamins. It was an epiphany that would alter the course of my journey forever. My scrutiny of the vitamin bottle revealed a bold declaration, it read; Contains Wheat and Soy. The problem had to be wheat or soy. Upon arriving at my grandmother’s house, I turned to the Internet, and googled; acne and wheat, as well as acne and soy. The information available was scarce. However, my quest for answers led me to TikTok, where a couple declared, “soy is the reason why a lot of people suffer from acne.” At that moment I knew it was soy. Soy!!!!

Since that faithful July in 2022, I have diligently taken every measure to avoid soy, and the results have been astounding. My life has undergone a profound transformation in the past year and a half. This journey has been a relentless battle, but it has also been a catalyst for transformative change in self-discovery that has motivated me to establish this blog, with a purpose: to offer a platform for venting/therapy to assisting individuals in delving to the core of their skin issues.

I want to emphasize that I am not a medical doctor, nor have I pursued formal medical training. My expertise stems from personal experience, having battled acne and endured the emotional scars inflicted for most of my life. My mission is to create a supportive and safe space for those grappling with skin issues, a sanctuary, where we can collectively navigate this challenging terrain… together.

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Photos below starts in 2020 and the last photo two photos are from 2023